The Trial of Faith

From the time I was young, my life has been about learning to work in new and different ways.  From the time I was 8, I delivered papers for the Springville Herald, a weekly newspaper. Of course, that meant that I also needed to go around to the residents to collect the monthly fees.  During the summer months, I also worked a lot on our farm, as well as on my Uncle's farm.  My cousin Robert and I would be at the first of the conveyor belt to pull out leaves, twigs and obvious culls from the cherries, peaches, and any other fruit that happened to be in season.  Later, I picked the fruit for my summer wages. When I was old enough to work, I got a job digging & cleaning ditches for the Springville Irrigation authority.  I also worked for my dad's boss throwing tires, and changing tires. 
I worked for many years at the tire shop, and in fact, mostly worked my way through college at Johnson Tire Service.  I became proficient at changing large truck and farm implement tires.  I also worked for one summer in the recap department.
Of course, my Dad was a perfect example of hard work, so as I grew and matured, I recognized that work, any honest work, was ennobling and helped to shape the character of a man. 
When I graduated, I was employed by Arthur Andersen  Co., one of the "Big 8" international accounting firms. It turns out, I was not a good auditor.  I didn't have the attention span for that kind of detail.  My mind would constantly race ahead of where I was supposed to be. So after 2 years, I left that job and went to work for a Cal Gas Corporation, a very large propane distributor.  After 5 years in Idaho, they moved our family to Tucson. 
   This was the first big trial.  I knew that I had employment in Tucson, but we were having a very hard time selling the house in Boise.  For 5 months, I lived in Tucson while my family was in Idaho.  Every two or three weeks, I would fly back to Idaho for the weekend.  Kayleen and I both prayed and fasted that our family could be re-united again, but the days and weeks continued to drag on.  At last I decided that if I couldn't sell the house, perhaps we needed to stay in Idaho, so I began interviewing for work in Boise.  That didn't work either. 

   One Monday, just before Christmas break, I was driving to Show Low to do my work.  It was early in the day, and I was talking to Father, trying to understand what He would have us do.  I received a Spiritual witness, that the trial was done.  It was over.  I felt the elation, even though I did not yet know how it would end.  That night I called Kayleen, and she said that someone had put an offer on the house, but it was less than we owed.  We let the offer lapse.  Later that week an LDS couple walked through the house. They later said that it was like coming home.  They received a confirmation that they were to by that house at 9953 Bigwood Drive in Boise.  The house closed withing a month, during which time I bought a house in Tucson, where we still live.
   Now fast forward to 1994.  I was working for Horizon Moving Systems.  The owner's son came into the business, and for a number of reasons, we butted heads.  In the Fall of 1994, I began to pray for help in obtaining new employment, where I could be happy and where I could be of greater assistance to the owners.  Over a 3 year period, I prayed and fasted that I would be able to change my situation.  Every time I asked if I could quit, Father gave me a resounding "NO," but then He would send me some gift, in the form a dream or other revelation to help me.

  Once I dreamed I was wrestling. (Anyone who has ever been a wrestling match knows how totally exhausting that can be.) I was tired, very tired.  I felt myself go over onto my back, and I was about to be pinned.  But then I heard the "Coach" yelling encouragement from the sidelines.  I responded to the Coach, I was able to get a reversal on my opponent, and pin him to the mat.  I printed out a picture of a wrestling match and hung it in my cubicle to remind me of the dream. 
  Another time I dreamed that a ship with a very important payload had set sail, and was on its way to bring me something of great value.  I printed out a picture of a sailing ship and hung it in my cubicle, to remind me that Father knew me, and had something on its way for me.
In November 1997 I had another dream.  It was on a Friday evening. In the dream, I climbed the side of a very high overpass.  I got to the top looked both directions, and the slide ( like on a playground slide) down the road to the bottom of the overpass. 
  I then brushed off my trousers and started walking down the road.  I emailed the dream to my sister, and she called me. She said, "The trial is over.  I don't know how it is going to end, but it is over." 
On Monday, my boss took me to lunch and asked me to resign.  He had a severance package ready for me to review.  He suggested I have my lawyer look at the severance offer.  I took the offer to the legal counsel for the College (I had been elected to the Governing Board of the College.)  The lawyer made some suggestions, had it re-typed, and I took it back to my boss.  Basically, I received 6 months pay for going quietly. 
  I was very disturbed though, so I went to the Mesa Temple on the next Thursday.  I was fasting, and I knew that this was the culmination of 3 years of prayers.  The whole experience was beyond my ability to describe, but while in the Celestial Room, I saw what I needed to do.  I came out of the temple with a different attitude.  I knew, absolutely knew, that 1) Father knew who I was, 2) he had heard my prayers, and 3) He had a blessing for me, and I just needed to find out what that blessing was.  From then on, the job search was more like the weeks leading up to an exciting Christmas.  I was getting a present from God. 
  From November through January 1998, I worked at finding that present.  I would get up at 4:00 AM , to be online at the time the offices on the East Coast opened.  I worked until about 10:00 or 11:00 each day.  I took up painting, to stimulate my right brain activity.  I exercised most days, cooked for the family and cleaned the house.  In late January, I had a series of interviews that lead to the employment I currently have.  It was a most interesting and amazing journey.  I still know that Father lives and that He loves ME.  For all my imperfections, faults and failings, He loves me.  Just like the people in the Martin Handcart Company, the journey was hard, but I would not change a thing.  Looking back, I know that the trial was meant for me. It was set for me as an individual, to teach me the very things I needed to learn. 

The blessings of Mortality

(This is a continuation of an attempt to inventory my  blessings, both big and small, as requested by President Monson)

A few years ago, my son was serving a mission in Russia.  I took it upon myself to make sure that I wrote a letter to him at least every week.  I started listing some of my best memories of mortality, but the easy and the hard, in one of those letters.  So I start this with some of what I wrote to my son, and will add to what I wrote earlier.

I had an interesting dream a few nights ago, that has been on my mind.  I dreamed I was boarding a bus, and I was going home.  I was so excited to be going home.  As I awoke I pondered the meaning and the spirit of the dream.  The excitement remains from the dream.  I don’t mean to alarm anyone, (I told Kayleen of the dream too) because I didn’t have the feeling that the bus for me was leaving imminently. I pondered my life and the things I have seen and experienced so far.  I was almost over come with gratitude at my life. I have been so blessed in almost every aspect.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to see the sunrise in the morning and the sunset in the evening.  To see the night so dark that I could not see a hand in front of my face, but to also see the moon so bright and full that it almost seemed as day.  I have climbed mountains and have swum in the ocean.  I have tasted fresh strawberries and cream.  I have seen the excitement of a new convert being baptized and seen the pain of a spouse as her husband was excommunicated.  I have seen the flowers bloom in the spring and picked tomatoes in the fall.  I have prayed so hard that I felt my spirit ascend into the heights of heaven, attempting to search out the will of God. I held my Dad’s hand as he slipped from this life into the next.  I have seen the excitement in my Grandson’s eyes as we walked in the cool of the morning.  I have sat in the temple as I have seen the future in a vision.  I have felt the necessity to repent, and the exquisite pain that comes from disappointing Father.  I have sat in a chair in the Celestial room and that chair became as a Heavenly Throne, Father letting me know that I truly belonged in that room with His Children. 

 

I experienced a son grow and mature as he served the Most High God as a Missionary for the Lord Jesus Christ, the most noble and dignified of all callings.  

I have held the lifeless body of my deceased granddaughter, and felt the peace of the spirit as He comforted us, and let us know that He had taken her to Himself.  I felt the gratitude for the spirit of unity and witness of eternity she brought, not only into my life, but into the lives of all whom she touched.

I have sat in disciplinary council as we sought to determine The Lord's will, to help one of his children return to full fellowship in his kingdom.  I experienced  a personage, {( think he was my deceased grandfather), visit and explain to me the necessity of physical pain in my life.  I have been given divine direction and council in my callings, letting me know that I was divinly appointed into the calling, and that He would support me in my efforts to move His Kingdom forward. 

 

I really have had a most wonderful and beautiful life.  This whole life is orchestrated and designed to give us knowledge, understanding, wisdom and experience. From those experiences come faith, strength, and character.  It is, after all, the character we build through those experiences that will determine my final judgment.  With all that I have done correctly, and all that I have done wrong, it was always my choice, my decisions.  Father has loved and persuaded me to do good, but has never taken the decisions out of my hand.  He has pushed me to limits I did not know existed.  But he has always, always given me more in experience and confidence through those trials than  my effort has cost me.

I Know that He has shown more confidence in me than I believe I deserve.  But I also know that He has been by my side to guide me the entire way.

The Love of my life

Kayleen Ann DeCoursey vs. Gerald John Bishop

     I got home from my mission in June 1975.  From that time forward, until August of 1978, I prayed that Father would help me find my eternal companion.  I dated a little, but somehow, none of the women had the "wow" factor I was looking for.  I did get serious with two women, who were worthy and would have been good wives, but the sizzel just was not there.

   In June of 1978, I had a small spat with my mother.  I was living at home, but needed some freedom.  Mom made some comment about living off my parents, so I moved out.  I moved into Marshall Arms apartments, just north of the Football Stadium. The next day, I was in the apartment alone, and an angel came in through the living room window, to invite my roomates to Sunday lunch. 

   So on Sunday, we gathered at Kayleen's apartment.  I asked who cooked the roast, and Kayleen said she did.  I told her, "That's not the way my mother cooks it."  She didn't know that what I had said was a complement.  We began a friendship. We would walk and talk. Sometimes we would walk for two hours of more.  I took her to a Johnson Tire summer party.  She met my parents for the first time.  In August, I was praying, and received an answer to my prayer, that Kayleen was the one for me to marry.  The problem was, she didn't know that yet. 

   On our first date, we went to the Utah State fair.  We spent a lot of time with the sheep, goats, pigs and cows.  At one point during the evening, we touched hands.  BAM !!!  the sizzell was alive. 
We continued to walk and talk, and to date.  One night we went into the canyon for a campfire dinner with another couple.  Two fawn came right up to the fire to be with us.  That was the first night I kissed Kayleen. 

 She was not convinced that I was the one, and at some point, she tried to pull back.  So I dropped back to being friends.  After that, she had no chance.  By November, we were talking of marriage.  We talked about getting engaged at Christmas, and getting married in the summer.  However, one evening, the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, we were having a slight disagreement, and I blurted out, "But will you marry me?"  She wouldn't answer, but did give me some clues.  The next day, I asked her dad if I could have his permission to marry Kayleen.  That is apparently one of the very few times he had ever been at a loss for words. 
   We were married February 23, 1979 in the Idaho Falls Temple for time and for eternity.  Br. Stoleworthy was the sealer.  We had never met him before, but he held the sacred sealing authority, and he pronounced the blessings upon us and our posterity.  The blessings from that time forward have been amazing.

An Assignment from the Prophet

First Blessings

     One of the take aways from conference, is an assignment given us from President Monson, that we take an inventory of our life, and ponder the blessings large and small that we have received. In an attempt to begin this assignment, I want to record about some of the first blessings in my life.

    I was born in 1956 to two parents who loved and respected each other.  The only contention between parents I encountered, was in the home of my neighbors.  I had cousins come to visit us for the summers and to live with us as they worked in my Uncle's orchards. I found out later in life, that they preferred to spend the summer at our home, because of the peace that prevailed.  I grew up remaining very uncomfortable in the presence of contention.  Although we did not have much in the way of worldly goods, we had sufficient, and we had an environment of safety and love. 
     I was raised on a small rocky farm. This allowed me the opportunity of work. I bucked hay bales, milked cows (by hand) planted and hoes and harvested tomatoes, corn, potatoes and other vegetables.
I learned the disciplne and worth of hard work, of the Law of the Harvest, and of self reliance.
    When I was young, I remember my mother reading stories to us children from "Book of Mormon Stories" and "Bible Stories" I learned of the Story of David and Goliath and of Ammon's love for King Lamoni, long before I understood the necessity of faith and charity.  But when I began reading the Bible and the Book of Mormon for myself, I felt of the Holy Spirit, teaching me of the reality and Divinity of our Risen Lord.  The familiarity of the stories allowed me to focus not on the events, but on the principles being taught.  When the time came for me to go on a mission, I needed a swift kick in the behind.  I had not been as faithful as I had been taught.  Through a series of events, I began praying for direction in my life.  About the same time, I began reading the Book of Mormon.  I understand that it is not always miracleous for those reading, but it was for me.  When I would pick up the book, I was encircled in a pillar of spirit.  I would see the events as they unfolded on the pages.  I felt the pain of Nephi as he saw our day, that we would be bound with flaxen cords to be lead carefully down to Hell.  When I finished reading the Book 3 weeks later, I knew that the Book of Mormon was an inspired book of scripture, translated through the gift and power of God. I knew that Joseph Smith had been a true prophet of God, and that Harold B. Lee was a current prophet.  I had also acquired a deep desire to serve a mission whereever the Lord would send me.
   So although this is not all encompassing, it gives a foundation for who I am today.  I hope to write more.  But "way leads on to way" (Robert Frost, "The Road not Taken."